Hopefully this will stimulate some discussion. You'll notice that there's only 7. Nominate your favorite remembered catastrophes to add to the list.
*Not including Luke's SCI.
7. Apparently chainsaws actually are dangerous.
I think it was the summer of 2001 or 2002 and we were clearing the land where the house now stands. I was on chainsaw duty since I was the oldest and, supposedly, most responsible. Dad was directing operations, but couldn't help much because his heart surgery was approaching. I was cutting down saplings and the younger brothers were dragging the downed trees to the bonfire that we had going. It became apparent that trees were too long and had to be cut up in short pieces to fit into the fire. I was in the process of shortening the lumber when I looked down and noticed a hole in my jeans and a dark red stain below that. The stain was growing. I didn't feel anything. When I turned the chainsaw off, Dad asked, "What's up?" After a quick assessment I calmly informed him: "I f&cked up." Luckily the cut wasn't too deep and it only took 3 stitches to patch up. The scar is awesome.
6. All I want for Christmas.
I'm not sure when it first happened, but it seemed like there was a stretch when Nate managed to knock out or chip off his front teeth every couple of weeks. What's was up with that?
5. Beaver Creek collision.
I think that this happened the last on the slopes, Thanksgiving 2006. Everybody was skiing together on that one run that ended by the Ritz-Carlton, Bachelor Gulch. Suzanne was giving JJ an impromptu turning lesson. I was following behind. Jerome was looking really good: he pizzaed when he was supposed to pizza, he french fried when he was supposed to french fry. And then, out of nowhere, Crazy-Snowboarding-Nate slams into J-Fresh at an incredible rate. There was a loud whack which I later learned was the sound that JJ's shin makes when a snowboard strikes it. The both went sprawling down the hill. Nate was quick to apologize and Jerome toughed it out and skied the rest of the day.
4. I'll take the stairs.
Spencer+Bucket+Stairway=Fractured Arm. I guess I have to take responsibility for this one since I was babysitting. Spenny wanted me to push him down the stairs as he sat in one of those big round storage bucket things. I refused and told him that he would get hurt. I thought that that was the end of it until a heard a tremendous crash.
3. Batter up.
This one happened by the baseball diamonds behind Ellis. I think that Nate's team was playing and we were there as spectators with Mom. One of the Swank kids was taking some warm up swings on the sidelines. He wasn't playing mind you, just killing time like the rest of the audience. Anyway, he caught Luke square in the nose with an aluminum bat. It looked terrible. There was blood everywhere.
2. That finger was too long anyway.
I only heard about this one over the phone, but apparently JJ nicked off the tip of his finger with Mom's fabric slicer. Ouch.
1. From relaxing nap to horrific nightmare.
I was enjoying the natural surroundings of Northern Wisconsin when a gang of hooligans surrounded the hammock I was resting in and starting to swing it violently back and forth. They were screaming some nonsense about trying to swing me all the way around. It didn't work and I hit the ground hard. I tried to curse at them, but my mouth was full of leaves and dirt and my brain didn't work right because I had just suffered a concussion. Good times.
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I never really told anyone about this, but it happened twice..
I was riding my bike home from Southgate, and i would get a good amount of speed going down the hill.
I would then look, and notice i was going as fast as some of the cars on the street, so i would 'race' them.
on 2 occations the cars i would be 'racing' would turn right. onto the road i was about to cross.
needless to say i've flown over the hood of more then one car in my lifetime.
both resulted in scraped knees and freaked out mothers.
Then there was the time I was persuaded by a friend in middle school that walking home from school on the railroad tracks, with my rollerblades on was a good idea.
i ended up with a permanant Y shaped scar on my hand after tripping, and landing on a rock. I
rollerbladed back to Ellis and Mom received a call from the assistant principal about how i should have been wearing wrist guards.
I did get to rollerblade inside of Ellis which is every middle schoolers dream.
and there was that time way back when in our old house when i was addicted to matchbox cars. I would race the cars on the treadmill. One time one of the cars got suck underneath the treadmill and i told J.J. to turn of the treadmill while i got the car out. I found out that even when the tread is going very slow, it will still rip off skin. However it did leave an awesome scar on my wrist.
by the way my favorite incident was when J.J. cut of his finger (#2). "what do you need a scissors for?"
"I just need to amputate your finger."
"Whats that mean?"
"It means I'm going to cut off your finger"
"NOOOOOO!!!!!" and of course
"J.J., how did this happen?"
"I don't know... I was just sitting there and it just started bleeding" we later found a chunk of his skin by moms rotary knife
there was this one time when me Spencer and one of his friends went to the park near our old house and we decided to walk over that tube bridge thing and both Spencer and his walked on top of it. so i did the same and i got every thing was going great until i got to the end i tripped over the ledge at the end and and waked my nose right on the top of a bar.
worst bloody nose I've ever had
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